The future scares me and excites me all at the same time. Thinking about the future right now is like looking into this big, gray-black blob, just floating on the horizon. It is this unknown thing that I just keep staring into, hoping for some clarity as to where I will be, or where I am supposed to be. It is terrifying.
The unknown is the scariest part of something. Not knowing what to expect out of an experience or time in life is hard. It scares the crap out of me.
Yet that is what life is all about. Being willing to step into the unknown. Taking chances, taking risks.
The haziness of my future is beginning to clear a bit. I am slowly getting a glimpse as to what my near future is potentially going to look like. It is exciting. As I start to prepare for this next step in my life, all at once the blob that is my future starts to take shape, starts to form into something recognizable. I am starting to step ahead into that future, allowing it to take shape, allowing it to become something. I am not entirely sure what that thing is going to be, but I know that it is going to be beautiful. It is going to be meaningful. It is all going to be for my God.
As I step out into the fog of my future, I can be confident that it is going to be messy. I know it is not going to be easy, that it is going to involve me taking some risks. It is going to involve me learning how to rely on my Savior for everything. I want it to be about following Jesus into the hard places and seeing Him transform brokenness into beauty, to see His work being done in the world and in me.
The blob is taking shape and as it does, it brings along with it more questions, more uncertainty.
Yet I can be certain that my God is good, and that he is transforming my black blob of a future into something other than a black blob, something with a purpose. It may not always be beautiful, or easy, but I can be sure God will be faithful.
I am learning what it looks like to walk into the unknown after Jesus. I am learning to follow him into the darkness, into the hard places of the world. I am learning to trust.
I am obviously never fully going to know what my future will ever fully look like. All I can do right now is cling to my one and only hope, to learn to walk into the unknown, knowing that I am held, and that everything will be okay.
Life as I know it in India 